


Burnt Desire

by infiniteworld8



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Alternate Canon, B'Elanna acts like she is the victim, Consent Issues, Episode: s3e16 Blood Fever, Forced Orgasm, Guilt, Memory Loss, Minor Injuries, Mutual Non-Con, NO does not mean YES, Recovery, Shame, She actually is both a victim and the perpetrator, Specifically Vulcan mating bonds, Tom IS the victim, Victim Blaming, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 01:04:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3958627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteworld8/pseuds/infiniteworld8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>B'Elanna is the woman of his dreams but his dream turns to a nightmarish reality when the effects of an unwanted bond lead to events neither of them have control of. When they return to Voyager, Paris is still in shock about what happened on the planet between him and B'Elanna but things only get worse when she has a different recollection of the events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Paris tried to fight her off  and at first he was successful but under even normal circumstances her Klingon strength was considerably greater than a human’s and the influence of whatever chemicals she had circulating in her blood now left him with no chance in  the end

“B’Elanna, don’t do this.”

She bared her teeth, holding him tightly. Her hands had his arms pinned and her body held his in place. “Don’t fight me Tom , you know you want this.”

“This isn’t you . Let’s just get you back to the ship and we’ll have the doctor fix—“ He broke off as the half Klingon woman leaned forward kissing him and purposely catching his lips in her teeth. The bite on his cheek was nothing in comparison as he felt her incisors sink into the soft flesh of his top lip and draw blood. He howled in pain as she pulled away. Blood was trickling down his chin and B’Elanna was grinning through a mouthful of crimson.

He struggled to get up again and B’Elanna only held him down more she seemed to be enjoying the fight. “Please...”

Paris hated the weak way his voice sounded but he was beyond anything but begging. He had wanted to be with B’Elanna since some of the first times he had gotten to know her, but in his imagination it had never been like this...where neither of them was really a willing participant.

B’Elanna ignored his plea and instead she changed up her grip. One hand was now holding both his arms down and her other hand was working away his jumpsuit. She gave a growl of frustration as her one-handed efforts to get the fastener of the suit open and the cloth free of his body failed. Paris cherished one moment of hope that maybe she would stop her efforts and that hope was just as quickly dashed as she ripped the fabric.

He felt his suit fall open and the warmth from her body was all too near. “Please B’Elanna stop. You’re not yourself and—“

She shushed him pressing a finger over his mouth. “Don’t lie you want this Tom, you need me...I need you”

As she talked she slid her hand down into the open juncture of his suit and he felt her stroking him. Against his will, he felt himself hardening at the sensation. Her hand was hot and sweaty against his own flesh and he smelled a faint musk coming from her. In other circumstances it would have been a turn on, but right then all he could think about was how none of this should be happening.

He had self defence classes in the academy, he should be fighting her off, he should have been able to fight her off.  She was a woman for god sakes. This didn’t happen to men, not like this. So if he couldn’t fight her off...did that mean he was somehow in some part of his brain wanting this to happen?

“Come on Tom, enjoy it.”

She bit his neck and he could her teeth sank into his flesh.  He tried to head butt her as she came up for air but she only dodged out the way and laughed. “Playing hard to get.”

Her hand moved away from him and he almost whimpered at the lost sensation. He hated himself, his body wanted more but his mind wanted it all to stop. B’Elanna was undressing herself, pulling her clothes violently away. Paris was aware of every contour of her body. He saw her olive skin, the full roundness of her lips, the slick sweat soaked skin of her chest.  He tried to force himself to relax. This was going to happen, he couldn’t fight her off and it wasn’t so bad...she was a beautiful female so why did he care ...some men would have begged to be in his situation.

The bites on his neck and cheek hurt, the bruises from where she had held him down and flung him to the ground ached and blood was still running down his chin and into his mouth from the broken skin of his lips. It was hard to get into the mood.

B’Elanna didn’t seem to care. She was nude and he could feel that he was ready. He nearly groaned with relief when she finally settled down to business, setting up a frantic rhythm. He hated himself for wanting to move his hips to try to increase the friction between them. “Please...please...”  He knew he was begging for her to stop even if the words would have sounded like something else to anyone else. He gasped as she shuddered against him and he felt himself reach his own release.  His eyes burned and as something ran down his cheeks he realised it was tears in his eyes.  His body was still tingling with the after effects but his mind had hated every minute.

He never cried in relationship to sex but this whole thing had just felt wrong. B’Elanna wasn’t done. Whatever had been done to her made her insatiable. It was only minutes before she was once again readying him for her purposes. 

Finally, much later, she let him go and they both collapsed spent. Paris laid there for a few moments, trying to calm himself. He was exhausted and felt sick thinking over the past almost two hours.

It took most of his energy but Paris gathered the shreds of his climbing uniform around him and moved as far away from where B’Elanna was laid out. She had fallen asleep, her face looked peaceful, and Paris knew that if she had been in her right mind she would have never done what she had. However, right then he couldn’t stand the sight of her.

He dabbed at his split lip trying to clear the blood away and involuntarily stiffened as he heard  sounds of the rock slide that had entrapped them being cleared away.

Tuvok and Chakotay’s voices were audible and before he could do anything Chakotay’s head popped through a newly opened gap in the rock pile. “Are you okay , Lieu—“ The first officer’s voice died out as he took in the scene.

Paris imagined what it all must look like. B’Elanna lying behind him still completely naked and him with a ripped up climbing suit hanging onto him by shreds and stained with blood and other fluids. “I’m—I’m—“Paris broke off. He found he couldn’t say anything about himself.

He wasn’t fine...he wasn’t okay...and those lies just wouldn’t spill out. Instead, he took a deep breath and swiped a hand across his face where he suddenly felt his cheeks growing moist. “B’Elanna needs to get back to the ship...and—“ He couldn’t say anymore and Chakotay nodded seeming to read something unspoken in his eyes.

“Okay , Lieutenant.”

It only took a few more minutes then the passageway was clear. Tuvok stepped into the tiny chamber surveying the situation. “May I take this to mean that you and B’Elanna have copulated and thereby resolved her chemical imbalance? That was one solution though. I was hesitant to mention it since humans tend...”

Paris couldn’t take hearing anymore. Tuvok speaking about what had happened in his all too logical terms was too much. There was nothing logical about what had happened or what he had been forced to do.

Paris  didn’t wait to hear Chakotay’s quiet admonishment for the Vulcan’s tactless appraisal instead he rushed past both men wanting to get somewhere in fresh air where he didn’t smell the stink of sweat and sex and he didn’t have the reminder of what had happened in that tiny cavern.

He reached the fresh air, and took several deep breaths, trying to purge everything from his mind. His breathing seemed to be settling when he made the mistake of looking down. Then he noticed his grey climbing suit was hanging wide open and most of his body from his torso to his genitals was exposed.  The fabric was sullied with stains from his and B’Elanna’s body fluids and he felt disgusting just having the reminder near him.  Before he knew what had happened saliva filled his mouth and he found himself bent over throwing up.

It hurt to retch and vaguely he realised the sharp pain in his chest accompanying every heave probably meant something was broken but that didn’t seem to matter. Nor did it matter that he could hear Chakotay and Tuvok behind him as they emerged from the cave.  Mouthfuls of sour acid came up until he had fallen to all fours  heedless of the sick soaking into the knees of his suit and too spent to care.

Chakotay’s hand was on his shoulder and he flinched at the older man’s grasp. “It’s okay Tom. Just breath.”

Paris nodded finally feeling himself coming back under control. He stood up wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Tuvok, was carrying a blanket covered unconscious B’Elanna and  watching him with one eyebrow raised. “I was not aware copulation led to nausea, perhaps you have additional injuries sustained during the mating than those immediately visible.”

“Yeah perhaps I do.” Paris forced the words out trying to sound nonchalant and sarcastic like he usually was. He could tell Chakotay wasn’t buying it.

“Tom what happened?”

This time he was sure as he his smile was seen for the false grin it was but he couldn’t keep up the charade for much longer. “Nothing , commander, as Tuvok said we _mated_ and I got a little banged up in the process.”

“Tom—“

“I said it’s nothing.” Paris turned to Chakotay glaring at the older man. “Now just call the ship so we can get off this damn planet will you?”

He waited as the commander called for beam up and managed to keep it together. His emotions were all mixed up and he wasn’t sure what to feel but as the transporter beam coalesced, he decided one thing: He wasn’t telling anybody the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paris is still in shock about what happened on the planet between him and B'Elanna but things only get worse when she has a different recollection of the events.

“You’ve got three fractured ribs Mr. Paris, a broken nose, some internal bleeding and several lacerations to your face. I wasn’t aware that copulation was this forceful.” The doctor continued running a scanner over Paris unaware of the effects his words were having. “It’s more like you two were fighting. B’Elanna has similar injuries.”

Paris forced himself to sit still as the doctor continued to scan him. His skin felt like it was crawling. His words sounded like a pitiful attempt at levity. “Now, Doc you know I’m a lover not a fighter.”

The doctor gave a grunt as he set the scanner down and grabbed another tool. “Apparently Pon Farr when experienced by two non Vulcans is considerably more —“

_B’Elanna leaned forward nipping his ear. His breath was coming so fast it caught in his chest. He was so exhausted he didn’t try to stop her as her hands roamed over his body...it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Her half Klingon strength was too much for him..._

“Hey, Doc how is uh...Vorik?” Paris said the first thing that came to his mind, anything to halt the  sudden pervasive memory of just a few hours ago. Unfortunately that had the opposite effect as he thought about how the Vulcan had been partly responsible for what had happened anyway.

The EMH continued working as he talked. “Vorik stole a shuttle and went down to the planet. Commander Tuvok and Security retrieved him and he’s currently undergoing further therapy in the holodeck simulation I designed. His hormonal levels are beginning to stabilize.”

“Everybody’s all well ,huh.”

“Except for you Mr. Paris. I’ll need to perform a minor operation so if you would undress from  this filthy—“ The doctor reached out attempting to pluck disdainfully at the stained uniform Paris was still wearing and the man unconsciously shied away from the touch.

“I’m fine Doc. “ Paris slipped off the Biobed, taking a step back so he was farther away from the hologram. He was aware somewhere in his mind that the doctor wasn’t going to hurt him but at the same time it was like some fight or flight response had kicked in at the doctor’s touch. “Patch me up and I’ll go back to my quarters and change there. I’ll be fine.”

The doctor frowned and crossed his arms. “As much as I appreciate you setting a stoic example for the crew you have life threatening injuries and I must insist—“

“I’m fine!” He hadn’t meant to yell but now that it was started it was hard to stop.  He tried to lower his voice but it was rising with every passing second “ I have the right to refuse medical treatment—“

“Not for life-threatening injuries—“

“I don’t care—“

“You’re behaving irrationally Mr. Par—“

“I’m behaving rationally, but I’m not taking off my clothes and you’re not—“

“He’s not what?”

Paris and the Doctor both turned around at the sound of Chakotay’s voice. 

“Ah, there you are Commander. Mr. Paris is refusing medical treatment for potentially fatal injuries and I’d like to request  a security officer to restrain him so I can administer treatment  before he bleeds to death and –“

“Nobody is fucking restraining me!”

Both the Doctor and Chakotay turned at his last outburst. The doctor looked outraged but Chakotay’s eyes were searching.  He didn’t take his eyes away from Paris and said quietly. “Leave us for a moment Doc.”

“Commander Chakotay, may I remind you Mr. Paris is bleeding out as we speak and—“

“I’ll well aware of that Doctor and I’ll just be a minute.”

The doctor looked ready to argue but even he could detect the nonsense tone in Chakotay’s voice.  “Fine, one minute. I’ll be in my office.”

Chakotay waited until the doctor had allowed the door to shut behind himself. “What’s going on Tom?”

“Nothing Commander” Paris started pacing, anything to avoid meeting Chakotay’s eyes. “I just don’t like taking orders from a Hologram. I’m _fine_ —“

“Are you really?”

“Yeah, I am. The doctor’s exaggerating—“

“I don’t think he is. I think there’s something you’re not saying” Paris fell quiet as Chakotay continued. “Whatever happened on that planet , it’s obvious you’re not fine.”

“I’m more than fine commander, a beautiful woman ripping your clothes off—“ This time Paris broke off on his own accord. It had been intended as a carefree comment, to  get the commander off his back with one of his typical joking comments but he found his voice faltering at the end.

_The fabric of his uniform was tearing easily under her hands. He felt exposed and there was nothing he could do about it._

“Tom, Tom?” Paris came back to himself , startled to find that he had sagged backwards against the biobed.  Chakotay was staring at him and no doubt by the expression on the commander’s face he must have looked as bad as he felt.

“I—uh—got a little dizzy”

Before Chakotay could respond, the doctor marched back out. “It’s been one minutes 13 seconds commander. Now I really must insist that whatever heart to heart” The doctor made air quotes.” You two are having be done at a later time. Mr. Paris needs surgery.”

The remains of his jumpsuit clung to him, his hands were shaking and he folded them behind his back as he forced his voice to be steady. “I’ll be fine commander.”

“Do I take this as acquiescence to my course of treatment Mr. Paris?”

“You lead I’ll follow Doc. “ Paris turned and added to Chakotay who still hadn’t moved. “Seriously commander I’m fine. Probably shock from those internal injuries the doctor was talking about.”

The only person that laughed was him. Chakotay merely nodded in response to Paris’ pitiful attempt at a joke. “Very well lieutenant.”

Even though the jumpsuit was dirty and a reminder of what had happened, a part of him preferred to keep it on for the meagre protection it offered. The brief time he was unclothed  to change into patient gown was a minute too long. He felt exposed.  Lying on the biobed as the doctor leaned over him setting up equipment was like being helpless on the floor of that cave again. He forced himself to appear calm but his body betrayed him. The steady beep as the biobed monitors picked up his racing heart and the faint tremors in his hands had the hologram moving with renewed speed as he readied Paris for surgery.  But Paris knew it wasn’t injuries only that his body was reacting too. Some things the doctor couldn’t fix.

Paris was grateful when the doctor leaned over and pressed a hypo to his neck. The medication hissed in and the hologram muttered in his usual dry tones. “Sweet dreams Mr. Paris.”

XXXX

B’Elanna first impression when she woke up was pain. Her entire body ached from head to toe. She levered herself up  wincing with each movement. The lights were dim and by the chronometer on the wall she could see it was relatively early in the artificial circadian rhythm of _Voyager’s_ sleep rotations.

Sickbay was empty except for a biobed to her right holding another blanket covered body.  If it wasn’t  for the soreness suffusing her body she felt mostly fine...in any case Sickbay gave her the creeps and she had no intention of staying there a moment longer. As her feet slipped off the biobed and touched the floor , the person in the bed next to her stirred and turned over. She found herself staring at the sleeping face of Tom Paris.

That froze her in her tracks. It was like a really, really bad movie. Pieces of the past few hours flashed through her mind, it was jumbled and disorganized but what she did remember made her feel sick. Now the soreness made since as she remembered pieces of what had happened.

She felt guilt, maybe a bit of shame...but above all she was angry. She drew in a deep breath trying to calm herself and the noise was louder than she intended.

Paris’ eyes snapped opened as he flinched at the sudden sound and jerked awake. They simply stared at each other for a moment before Paris scrambled upward, pain streaking across his face but not halting his attempt to scoot away from her.

He had good reason to be cautious. After all what had happened between them was unforgivable. Even though on some deep level they had both liked each other there was still no way to make it all better. She had been under the influence of some Vulcan mind bond thing and not in control of her actions and what had happened was a result of that.

Paris still looked terrified , his face was drawn with pain though and one hand was holding his abdomen no doubt splinting some injury. She remembered them fighting. She wanted to slap the look of his face as he attempted to smile and the grin faded out before it had been more than a pained grimace. “Good morning Lieutenant.”

The words were too precise, practiced, almost mocking, as if yesterday hadn’t happened. “Don’t good morning me!”

“Fine what do you want me to  say.”

“Nothing.” B’Elanna spat the words and turned around going to one of the drawers nearby looking for some a spare uniform to wear until she could change to her own clothing in her quarters.

She heard Paris swallow roughly behind her. As she turned back finally having found a slightly too small science blue uniform Paris said. “So what do you want to do? Pretend this didn’t happen?” His face seemed too pale already and he went a shade paler as he dropped his voice lower so the words were almost muffled and added a little too quickly. “We can do that. I—uh—I know you didn’t mean to—“

B’Elanna dropped the uniform she was holding. Paris words were the last straw. “You are a _Ha’DlbaH. “_ she didn’t bother to translate, her anger was so much she almost couldn’t think clearly. “Of course you want to forget this. You’re worried I’ll tell the captain.” Paris looked confused, buut B’Elanna wasn’t fooled by the ruse. He knew just as well as she did  She stalked closer and he seemed to shrink as she neared, his breathing quickened and the last of the colour in his face seemed to drain away. “You finally got what you wanted. Tom Paris the smooth talker, the lady’s man. You saw I was compromised and you were only to happy to get your chance.” She moved closer until her faces were just inches from her’s. He appeared terrified at her wrath.

He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and began. “This isn’t—“

 “I don’t care about what excuses you want to make. You used the situation to your advantage.”

“B’Elanna, wait you don’t think I—“

“Shut up Tom, just shut up.” She was even angrier as she felt tears gathering in her eyes.  B’Elanna turned around wiping her eyes furiously, she felt betrayed. This was what she got for trusting people, this was what she got for trusting him.  She heard Tom shifting off his Biobed and before she knew it, he was by her shoulder touching her elbow.

“Please just –“

“I trusted you Tom and you—“ 

“You are both supposed to be in your Biobeds.” The doctors tones rang out scolding. “Computer lights’ 75%.”

They both blinked in the sudden change. “What is going on here.  It’s the middle of the night and you are both recovering from injuries, in your case Mr. Paris...major surgery. This is not the time for a chat, debate or argument.”

The hologram came closer gesturing towards the beds “It’s time for both of you to get some rest—“

“I’m not staying here a moment longer than I have to doctor.”

“B’Elanna please be reasonable.”

“I am being reasonable. I’m not staying here in this room with Paris a moment longer than I have to.” The doctor looked puzzled and glanced back between them both like he wanted an explanation for her behaviour.  When he didn’t receive one he started his usual admonishments. But B’Elanna knew how to get her way. She was the one who repaired his program , a few choice threats to some of his subroutines and he had grudgingly released her . B’Elanna stalked out the door ignoring the Doctor and Tom.

It was hard to walk through the ship acting like nothing was wrong when inside she wanted to scream.  She felt violated, first from the forced mental bond or whatever it was that Vorik had forced on her and next from what Tom had done.

Briefly, she considered telling Janeway or even Tuvok, but at the same time she knew she never would. What had happened was an unfortunate occurrence nothing more, she wouldn’t be thought of as a weakling. She had no long lasting injuries and thankfully Paris  had gotten the worst of the fight.

For now that would have to be as much justice as she would get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it B'Elanna is acting like Tom used her. Her memories are obviously skewed, but in the meantime Paris will be getting the full force of her anger and perhaps... the ire of the crew.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, we're off hiatus... Tom is feeling more guilty and confused.

Four Days Later

“Mr. Paris change our course to...”

“Mr. Paris?”

“Mr. Paris !”

Tom Paris jerked at the near yell of his name. Janeway was regarding him with a slight frown. “Mr. Paris I would thank you to ....Change our course to heading...”  His heart was beating to quickly for him to pick up more than pieces of the conversation. If felt like everyone on the bridge was staring at him he quickly turned back to his console. “Yes, ma’am, inputting course change.”

Paris raised a hand to make the course correction then realised he had no idea what course change she had ordered.  His face reddened as he tried to figure out a way to have the order repeated without asking Janeway and looking like a fool in front of the entire bridge crew.

Paris waited a second to long, the choice was taken from him. “Mr. Paris? Is there a problem.”

His entire face felt red and he had to force himself to turn around and answer. “Um, Yes, Ma’am...Captain...I—I didn’t hear what you said.”

Tuvok raised an eye at that and the non-Vulcan bridge crew were even less subtle in their incredulity. Paris only felt the flush suffusing his face increase as he thought he heard a slight snicker from the young woman at the supplemental life support control. Even Kim looked like he was grinning.

Paris wanted to knock the laughter out of all of them. “...568.3.” Paris turned from where he was staring at the lieutenant at the auxiliary engineering console and realised that Janeway had spoken and he had missed it again. He felt too hot, his collar was constricting his neck and every eye was on him now...waiting for the course correction, which he had no, idea what it was.

A half a minute passed and by then Janeway looked worried.  His throat felt dry when he forced himself to say. “I missed that captain.” He could have sworn that he heard muffled giggles now and Kim was trying to hide a smirk too.

Janeway was speaking but Paris barely heard her words, instead he stood up and turned to the blonde ensign at life support. “Stop laughing, none of this is fucking funny.” Paris turned to the rest of the bridge” All of you shut up!”

Everyone appeared shocked. Chakotay had half risen from his seat but Janeway turned towards him and some sort of unspoken communication went past before she added to her First officer. “Mr. Chakotay, you have the bridge.” She jerked her head at Paris.

“In my ready room _now_ ”

Paris stood up and followed her, barely acknowledging the replacement who slide into his chair at the conn and staunchly avoiding the eyes of the others as he walked across the bridge.

Once the door slid shut behind him, Janeway sat behind her desk and gestured to a chair opposite her. Paris stood there stiffly, his back rigid, hands at his sides, staring straight ahead. “Mr. Paris have a seat.”

“I’d prefer to stand Captain.”

Janeway’s jaw tightened and her voice was crisp as she countered “and I’m ordering you to sit.”

Paris chanced a glance at her, she was staring back at him, her face a mask and her eyes holding some unreadable expression. He sat.

“Your performance over the past few shifts has been lacklustre and today you not only missed one but two direct orders.”

“It won’t happen again ma’am—“ Paris tried to interject.

Janeway cut him off. “I don’t want apologies Mr. Paris.”

Paris snapped his mouth shut.

Janeway continued. “I want answers.”

“Answers?”

“What happened down between you and B’ Elanna?”

“Cap—captain?” Paris felt like his throat was closing. He briefly shut his eyes and when he opened them Janeway was staring at him.

“The doctor has declared both of you fit for duty but I read the medical report. Your injuries were severe, requiring surgery. I read your incident reports, both yours and B’Elanna’s.”

Paris looked up at that and quickly cut the captain off. His voice a little too quick. “What did hers say?”

Janeway’s eyebrows raised in surprise but after a moment she continued in her same clipped concerned tones. “It was very much like yours Mr. Paris. Not detailed, the bare facts, no feelings…which is what I think needs to be remedied. You need to talk about it, you and her—“

“I don’t think she wants to talk to me captain…not after…” Paris paused then continued. “I don’t think she wants to talk to me.”

“Then I’d like you to seek counselling with the doctor.”

“Captain, I’m fine.”

“Fine was not what I saw on my bridge today.”

“That was—I was day dreaming captain…It’s nothing serious…”

“And swearing at the bridge staff is nothing serious Mr. Paris?” Janeway continued, pulling out a Padd and reading off it. Tom cringed at every word. “How about being late for duty shifts, talking back to senior officers, behaving distractedly during a bridge shift, not reporting for your follow up medical exam, rerouting engineering communications from your console back to conn’s or other stations inappropriately?” Janeway laid the rest of damning evidence down, and looked up sighing and she laced her fingers together.

“Tom, this isn’t to hurt you. I’m ordering you and B’ Elanna to seek counselling. And since we don’t have a ship’s counsellor the doctor will have to do. I’m not a fool, I know when I read some mission reports that I’m not getting the full story…but with both of yours I can tell I didn’t even get a fraction of it.”

“Cap—“

Janeway waved his comment excuse off. “That’s not a comment against you Tom, some things are between you and B’ Elanna, and there’s some that need to be talked about, but not to me…not yet. Talk it over with the doctor. Figure it out and then we’ll come back to this.”

Paris swallowed, sinking his fingernails into his palm. He forced his lips to move. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“And Tom? Take the rest of the shift off. Dismissed.”

Paris walked out across the bridge feeling everyone staring at him. Harry tried to catch his eye from at ops, but Paris staunchly avoided it. He wasn’t looking forward to his forced counselling with the doctor. His stomach churned at the thought. What would he say? What could he say?

He still felt confused about what had happened on the planet. At first he had thought B’Elanna was wrong but as the days had passed he had felt worse. B’Elanna was the victim, not him. He should have fought her, pushed her off. He could have…probably…maybe…

If any of the crew, found out what had happened on the planet he could only imagine the disgust and revulsion they would have with him. In fact he’d probably be brought up on charges and he couldn’t really blame anyone.

Paris stepped into the Turbo-lift, deciding to keep everything a secret. He just had to hope B’Elanna would do the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I watched the episode Blood Fever and though about how viewers would have seen it differently if Paris was the one foring himself on B'Elanna. It had inherent rapey overtones and her repeated attempts to force him to sleep with her in a different gender context would have to any seemed a lot less acceptable and sinsister. But because he is a male and should always "want" sex then we see the writers acting like what happened was no big deal. Consent is a big deal folks and this fic address that.


End file.
